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The questions that you ask yourself and others dictate the kind of life you lead. When you start to ask different questions, you can start living the life you want to live.
- Tim Brownson
It’s another Free InMyHeels Giveaway!!! Head to the bottom of this post to see how you can win a free copy of the book Don’t Ask Stupid Questions?: There Are No Stupid Questions!!!
What is it that you have swimming around in your mind, preoccupying the space up there and either
a) filling you with joy, strong motivation, and a healthy appetite for life
or
b) pain striking anxiety, fear, and self doubt?
What type of questions do you ask yourself?
Are you mostly likely to ask yourself “What can I do to make this great idea happen?!” or “What makes me think that I can do something like that? Are you most likely to question the timing of a new project or the actual existance of the necessary talent?
So many questions, so valuable your time in this life you live.
Do you actually get that?
This LIFE that YOU live! <– The exclamation point is there because as a mere phrase, “This life that you live” is merely cliche. But when you think about the fact that your deep happiness or everpresent self dissatisfaction can be tipped either way, you come to realize with excitement (or sheer horror) that its really up to you to do something about it to get it where you’d like it to be!
So the question then is - Where do you start?
The author that I quoted in the beginning of this post is Tim Brownson, the life coach behind the excellent blog that is ADaringAdventure.com and I’ve had the delightful pleasure of reading his book Don’t Ask Stupid Questions: The Are No Stupid Questions which deeply inspired me to whip up this piece for you. I’ll be using some of the questions he provides in his book as headlines for some important points you need to hit in your self discovery. That being said, I highly recommend this book as quality reading for simple tips and questions that help you find EXACTLY what you’re looking for. You.
Q: What Fears are Holding You Back From Achieving Your Full Potentional?
Finding Your Answer: I tell you what. At face value, that strong resistance you have to change may seem it exists because you’re set in your ways. You “just like it that way”. You’re “just good at this anyway so why not stick with it until retirement?”
….
You’re scared witless is what you are and that happens. After all, you know that box that is your comfort zone? Well outside of that box seems scary because something is telling you “Hey listen lady. You know this box. You’ve mastered this box. It may not be a fun, really fulfilling box but at least you know what’s coming with this box”
My question is - do you really? Are you seriously prepared to continue your life in the state of stagnation? Are you genuinely willing to stunt your growth and a chance of exciting delicious fulfillment because of fear of what MIGHT be?
What is it exactly that you fear? Tim’s pearl of wisdom here is excellent for helping you discover the answer that you need for the next step. I quote “Are my fears based in common sense and if so do I need to act accordingly, or is my fear really False Evidence Appearing Real?”
That false evidence is more than enough for many of us to avoid stepping out of the box. To think that FALSE evidence is getting in the way of the REAL joys of your life. What are you going to do about that?
Q: Do You Know What Drives You, What Motivates You, and What Inspires You?
Finding Your Answer: The quest for one’s passion is maddening for some, exhilerating for others. We might forget that as human beings, the mere dynamic of our lives means we may pick up new passions or discover things we never knew we had within us! Some of us have to do some actual exploring to detect the mere outline of what shapes our passion.
It’s more than finding out what you want to do professionally.
It gets really deep into questions like what is that makes you feel good about life? What fills you with joy? What REALLY matters to you?
Do you know what your values are? In the chapter “Know Your Values” Tim explains that when first asked, most of us - if not all - struggle with answering the question “What are your values?” Not only is it food for thought, its fuel for life. If you know what those principles of yours are, it really helps you in the event that different parts of your life clash - thus disturbing your inner peace - because you know what’s important to you and what challenges that.
That would explain that odd feeling you get when you sense that something isn’t right for you but you can’t put your finger on it. Identify what gets you going to help you get where you’d like to go.
Q: How Long Are You Spending Feeling Bad About Something You Can’t Influence?
Finding Your Answer: Its true- bad things happen that sadden us and affect our state of mind. Of course you are working on being a positive person however it’s alright to be sad about things that hurt you. Like Tim says, it’s a normal human reaction. The problem isn’t in being sad itself. The problem that some of us face is the length of time we spend on matters that we can’t change by sheer worrying alone. I know you what what I’m talking about - thinking yourself into a headache, worrying relentlessly about things you cannot change.
Knowing how much of your mental energy you spend on matters you cannot change is a good thing to know. With the power of change that you initiate, you can spend some of that time doing something good for yourself. Noticing how much time you spend pouring negative energy into your life by dwelling on matters that you cannot change can be the first step to alleviating the stress that accompanies it. Take that and couple it with the decision to decrease your focus on such matters to experience a new found freedom.
Of course it is important to note that if you are someone who suffers from a chronic state of depression or another mental illness that aggravates and prolongs your deep feelings of sadness, it is so important to seek medical help. With the proper treatment, you too can use your time for the good things in life that you CAN impact - like your health.
Q: What Could You View Differently By Accepting That Your Best Is Always Good Enough?
Finding Your Answer: Craving acceptance something fierce, many of us are plagued with thoughts that we are not enough. We strive to be super productive while wearing heels (ok, some of us do. Judge me not.) and can find ourselves threatened when we compare ourselves with others who seem like they’ve got it all together.
Now for the fun part. Let’s entertain, for a moment, the idea that you operate to the best of your ability at any given moment. Now let’s say that your best is ALWAYS good enough. What does that change for you? What liberty does that give you? Would you dare press on with more challenges knowing that you are indeed capable? How about that rush of self satisfaction? Could you treat yourself to a smile because you know you did all that you could and that is a GREAT thing?
Some of us penalize ourselves with every negative thought including the “Not Enough” ones. It makes us feel unimportant and incapable. This is why I MUST share this quote with you!
Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret
- Don Miguel Ruiz
I hate to stop here because these are only a few of the smart questions for self in Tim’s value packed book “Don’t Ask Stupid Questions: There Are No Stupid Questions“. (I had to resist the urge to share it all with you!) Written with Tim’s own branded blend of wit and wisdom, this light hearted book helps you answer the heavy questions of your life with its many tips for tackling the matters of our minds.
If you’ve resonated with any portion of this post, you are sure to really enjoy his book just like I have and so I’m so happy to announce yet another InMyHeels giveaway!
Five readers shall receive a free copy of Tim’s book! Simply leave a comment about a positive change or discovery in YOUR life! What realization or Answer brought you there?
I’ll be choosing my five favorite bits of feedback after the deadline - Saturday, June 7, 2008. I really look forward to your insights!
To discover more Q&As about your Self and living your best life,
subscribe to InMyHeels.com! For Free of course!
Photos by: Ram! and LunaDiRimmel
