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Bad habits.  Let us draw a deep sigh as we think about the one’s we have.  It’s ok, don’t click elsewhere just yet (unless it’s to subscribe).  The only person you need to be honest with right now is yourself.  It’s true that no one’s perfect and that’s quite alright until those imperfections - the bad habits - begin to interfere with life in really unpleasant ways.  It’s the ripple affect and a small but bad habit stars as the pebble.

Your bad habit could be one of many, many things.  For instance: Your tendency to talk before listening/thinking, your midnight three-donut habit, your devotion to The Cigarettes, that temper, that ex.  All of which are annoying in their own rights until they take the ugly turn to costing you your relationship or job, a heart condition, a warrant, and the need for extensive therapy.

And yes, sometimes you need to nix your tendencies because they can create real inconveniences or be outright embarrassing.  Subconscious reasons or not, how do you explain that this thing you have with picking your nose at every red light is soothing to you?

The great thing is it’s not out of your hands.  It may draw upon your sources of willpower and support but it is definitely possible to create change for the better.

The (good) question is: How?  After all, there are reasons why bad habits hurt so good.  Even if you haven’t pinpointed the reasons that they grant you some gratification, the reasons exist.  Lucky you, here are some suggestions to help you break out of the shackles of self sabotage.

The Desire for Change Must Exist

Personal change can’t come if it’s not welcome.  All the colorful pamphlets and commercials in the world can’t force you to change.  They may provide information that gives you the knowledge you need to make a decision but they can’t create the change within you.  For instance, when you go out for a smoke during a stressful day of work, you are enjoying your vice to it’s fullest.  Most likely you aren’t standing there thinking of the many facts about lung cancer that you already know.  In fact, let an overzealous buddy snag your ciggy and two and watch the angry clouds form above your head. 

When you want to break a bad habit, you need to genuinely want the change.  To help you along, you ought to take a good long look at the pros that come with change.  So now, it’s less about what your loved ones are telling you and more about what resonates in your heart and mind.  Find your reasons for change and pinpoint those babies.  Write them down, repeat them in your mind, place them in the forefront.  This way, you encourage yourself to consistently focus - a tool that will help you sidestep those moments where you are jonesin’ for your _______.

To Break Up With Your Ex-Habit, You Need a New One

What happens when you ache to bring your hand to your mouth for that cigarette?  How about that pent up energy because you swore off punching people?  The urges are still there, alive and well.  Your next step in breaking a bad habit is creating good ones to replace them.  If smoking helped you relax, then not smoking will be stressful unless you fill in the void with an activity that will suffice.  Just ignore it and you may find yourself slipping back into your old ways.

There’s a trick to building new habits.

It takes a person 21 consecutive days to establish a new habit.  So for about a month, if you were to hit the gym every morning, it becomes less like punishment and much more like second nature.  You would be amazed how your body and mind adapts to the things we do. 

So this is what you do.

• Pick a Habit.  Any Habit:  You increase your chances for success when you make a conscious effort to single out the source of your grief and choose new habits to experiment with to counter the one you’d like to rid yourself of.  You need to find something that will work for you but in order for you to figure what that is, you need to give alternatives a chance.
• Select Your Course of Action:  It would be really helpful if you logged your behavior in a small journal.  When you record your moods/actions every time you want to scratch that itch, you are much more conscious of what’s working and what isn’t.  You’d be able to notice patterns such as time of day.  After all, when you’re talking about habits, you’re talking about being on autopilot.  And no, it isn’t so bad.  You’re dedicated remember?
• Little Steps, Big Moves:  Problems with commitment?  Then lifetime change might sound a bit much when you’re talking about cutting out something you’ve been doing for a long time.  Minimize your time commitment into bite sized pieces.  Since it takes about 21 days to develop a new habit, dedicate 21 days to doing your one, new habit every day.  Be consistent and stay true to your plan.  With about a month of experience, you can sense whether or not your new ritual will work for you.
• Get Support:  Of course you are holding yourself accountable.  But when your best friends, siblings, and parents know about your efforts to change, you know have a support team who can help encourage you to stay on the right track and discourage you from bailing with disapproving eyes.

Pace yourself because on of the most important factors in rerouting your habits is your persistance.  Try dealing with one habit at a time and keep your steps simple to increase the probability of you sticking to your guns… which is a great thing because you need good habits to keep you going while you’re busy conquering your world.

Then maybe I can write “What Good Habits Do For Good People”.

Photo by:  SG

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