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17AprWhat the Super Successful You Knows

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How long have you been this uncomfortable? 

With certain aspects of your life that is. 

Are you constantly poring over someone else’s get things done system - only to find the only thing you’re doing is frustrating yourself yet again?  It doesn’t even make any sense.  It works for some people - why not you?

How about your job?  Are you supposed to like it because you spent a good lot of your time for the past __ years learning for a shot at your dream only to find that it just isn’t flowing as well as you pictured?

Is it you?

Quite frankly yes. 

It’s you…not being you.  And that can be a problem.

For those on a serious quest for the inspired career move, having issues with learning, not understanding the relationship advice you’re getting (and therefore you MUST be an ogre) ignoring your natural tendencies will leave you feeling awkward.  You can technically force yourself to operate under someone else system but that’s the underlying discomfort you feel…

..and it’s probably feeding that growing monster of resentment that you’re carrying on your bare back.

You’d be amazed at what knowing and respecting your own personal style of operation can do for you.  You’d be super productive and a lot happier with your circumstances. 

And to think that people go on, for YEARS, oblivious to this fact and suffering a faceless unhappiness because of it!  Looks like there’s more to that “Be Yourself” thing huh. 

This is the part where I tell you that you can shell out fifty bucks or so over here at Kolbe.com to find out about yourself for your best life.

OR

You can thank your bloggy stars that JEMi knows JUST how you feel and is about to discuss the general guideline that test shows you.

*smile*

Continue reading ‘What the Super Successful You Knows’

in productivity. 16 Comments

02FebWhen Bad Habits Happen to Good People

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Bad habits.  Let us draw a deep sigh as we think about the one’s we have.  It’s ok, don’t click elsewhere just yet (unless it’s to subscribe).  The only person you need to be honest with right now is yourself.  It’s true that no one’s perfect and that’s quite alright until those imperfections - the bad habits - begin to interfere with life in really unpleasant ways.  It’s the ripple affect and a small but bad habit stars as the pebble.

Your bad habit could be one of many, many things.  For instance: Your tendency to talk before listening/thinking, your midnight three-donut habit, your devotion to The Cigarettes, that temper, that ex.  All of which are annoying in their own rights until they take the ugly turn to costing you your relationship or job, a heart condition, a warrant, and the need for extensive therapy.

And yes, sometimes you need to nix your tendencies because they can create real inconveniences or be outright embarrassing.  Subconscious reasons or not, how do you explain that this thing you have with picking your nose at every red light is soothing to you?

Continue reading ‘When Bad Habits Happen to Good People’

in productivity. 15 Comments

19JanStress Management for the Woman Who Wants It All

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I am writing this to the woman who wants it all.  I am all about wanting it all.  I dream big, I aim (really) high, I think whoever thinks I have delusions of grandeur apparently doesn’t know me well enough, and I sip from a glass that’s half-full. 

It’s wonderful, really. 

What ISN’T wonderful is the insane amount of stress that can come from having to multi-task and drudge through a way too busy day.  Stress is like quicksand right at the very center of your dreams.  You add to, tweak, or create new dreams and goals and while you are trying to move forward with all of your plans, the quicksand sucks you and your strength away as you try to forge on!  The less strength you have, the less you are able to manage.   Regardless of what success is for you, effort and energy is required to make the engine of your dreamboat purr.  If you want to be  super-mom, a straight-A student, a star at work, handy-sans-the-man,  or (eek) everything at once–

You’re going to need a system. 
Continue reading ‘Stress Management for the Woman Who Wants It All’

in life and productivity. 9 Comments

15DecBlack Light: Dealing With Criticism

 

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You’re basking in the sunny rays of self-kudos. You feel good because you had a great new idea. You decided to involve yourself in something completely new to you. So what if you’re a truck driver - you like to knit and gosh darn-it you’re doing to have the very best knitting class there is. That’s wonderful for you and you’re excitement propels you into the front lines of your new venture. And you keep feeling great until someone nearly blinds you with the Black Light. The Black Light would be the fine toothed combing of your every action, thought, and expressed notion highlighting your every error in all its brilliance. Get your umbrella out. All of a sudden someone decides to rain pour on your parade.
Hearing criticism is always a tough thing to deal with. Unless you are fortunate and are blessed with the useful gift of thick skin, critics can discourage you from pressing forward. That discouragement can ultimately unravel your plans and bench you and your potential indefinitely.
How about learning to utilize criticism to your advantage? And ultimately, if it really is useless to you, what can you do to release its iron grip on your will?

Constructive vs. Negative Criticism: There’s a Difference

It bites when you’re being told that you’re doing something wrong. But there is a difference between constructive criticism and negative criticism. Constructive criticism is meant to help you by pointing out weaknesses that you could afford to work on. It’s good for improvement and is helpful to you. Negative criticism is more destructive in nature. It comes like an attack and its sole purpose is to create conflict by being hurtful. Sometimes the person who does this is manipulative or is focused on getting attention. The ability to identify what’s constructive and what isn’t allows you to comb through the onslaught of commentary and harness it so that it serves a purpose useful to you rather than allowing it to hurt you.

Use Criticism as a Prompt to Review

Did someone point out something you didn’t want to hear but needed to? Let’s take it out of their ugly context for a minute (if they were a jerk about it, mentally flip them the bird and move on). Sometimes using someone else’s perspective on a situation helps you utilize your potential to a much fuller point. Think about it. Maybe they pointed out something you didn’t think about with the intention of discouraging you from forging on. Sometimes veterans of a field don’t always take kindly to newbies. It happens. However, perhaps they have the experience or a valid point that you need to consider. Take that and brainstorm your solution. Make it work. Using criticism to your advantage is a skill that can benefit you in the long run. Use it as a prompt to review your stance on that particular aspect. After all, if what you’re doing is something you really want to do, don’t you want to maximize your chances of success? That includes looking at it from all angles.

Don’t Try To Please Everyone

I’m sure you heard this before but I’m going to elaborate on it. You can’t please every single person who crosses your path. There will be those who think they can do better than you can, those who will pick a fight, people who are bored. Miserable. You have people who just won’t agree with you. If you were to alter your project with every comment or criticism made, the framework of your concept would inevitably disappear and you would have a shapeless pile of useless mush.

Hear No Evil. Speak No Evil

Baseless attacks, insults, negativity - it WILL get to you if you open the doors. Whenever possible, ignore those. Don’t waste your time and attack back - It’s a bottomless pit and will suck the life out of you and your optimism. Of course there’s a difference between standing up for yourself, and hurling mud at your opponent. Stick to your principles and make yourself clear. But if that includes shouting every explicative known to man back at a meanie, I suggest you pass.

The bottom line is you are bound to hear criticism at one point or another. It comes with the territory (of progress and success that is). The key is not allowing it and your hurt feelings to sway you reaching your goals. The only way you aren’t going to ruffle any feathers is by doing nothing at all. And really. Where’s the fun in that?

Photo by:  FredArmitage

in motivation and productivity. 2 Comments

11Dec6 Tips on Scoring A Better Day

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…because we all can use a little pep in our step after falling into the monotony of daily living.  (am I right or am I right?)

I’ve gathered a couple of tips that I believe will increase the quality of your day.  Of course these are tried and true by yours truly but hey, feel free to try these out.  After all, the only thing you have to lose is a scowl.  :)   

Sleep Better the Night Before

No, it isn’t overrated.  In fact, it’s underrated.  We shave significant pieces off of our Zzz’s and wonder why it is we feel a secret urge to run people over in the morning.  (At least, as a New Yorker, I get that).  Not only does sleep do wonders for your look in the AM, it provides the rest you need in order to function efficiently the next day.  No matter what breed of superhero you are, without real rest, you won’t be able to focus as well as you could have.  Pay a little attention to what’s going on at night.  If you’re having trouble sleeping, investigate the causes behind it.  Distractions, stress, underlying health causes, silly boyfriend can’t stop with the 3 AM calls (I’m only sorta kidding) - try to find the culprit and work on making the necessary changes.  You’d be amazed what a little bit of real sleep can do for you.  

Decide To Have a Good Day

Yes, literally decide to have a good one.  Arming yourself with a can-do attitude enables you to see things that come up during the day as challenges, not as fate’s personal vendetta against you.  The power of positive thinking ought not be underestimated. 


You can end up feeling good that you found a solution for the obstacle that you were faced with OR you can just be super pissed that there was an obstacle to begin with.  What good does that contribute to your own personal mood?  You want to add good vibes, not take away.    

Give Yourself the Time You Need

Not every day you start will begin on the note you wished it did.  Sometimes, that note will definitely be off key.  On days like this, acknowledge the fact that you’re a little off, distracted, upset about something.  And with that acknowledgment comes giving yourself the time you need to complete certain tasks without beating yourself up for the mishaps.  Boss be damned (ok, not really, but lets keep going with the flow shall we?), try to get through it the best you can without contributing to angst.  Of course, you have responsibilities.  But if you don’t take care of you, you just may crash and burn and create an even bigger mess.  So if it means operating on 70% efficiency for a little bit, so be it.  No one will be none the wiser and it just may be what you need to feel better and get back into the full swing of things.   

Prioritize

You want a super quick way to send the smile you exchanged with that cute guy in the coffee shop down the drain?  Go into a heap load of things you have to do without taking a minute to figure out what must be done versus, well, everything else.  Sometimes, this is simply a matter of collecting your thoughts and jotting them done or maybe clearing your desk.  Regardless of what it is, identify what needs to be done and when.  That way, you can minimize the not-so-welcome surprises to the best of your ability.  Who need’s that kind of pressure anyway?  

DON’T Skip Me Time

Regardless of what you do for a living, Me Time is so crucial I would be doing you a great disservice if I were to skip it.  Me Time could be a quiet 30 minutes you steal from your morning or evening.  It can be the time you clock out from the world to gather your thoughts and focus on what makes you feel good.  Meditation, prayer, whatever it is you do - that Me Time is your time and you need it.  Starting a day with it can really help you center yourself and give you that positive frame of mind that’ll get you through the day.  Ending a day with it can really help you unwind, increase the quality in your sleep by loosening you up and letting the day-time drama fall to the way side.  Do what you enjoy.  Do what you need to for you.  But don’t you skip that Me Time.   

Give Yourself a Pat on the Back

A small personal victory just take place?  You like the way your hair looks today?  That piece of chocolate was just that good?  Give yourself the kudos.  This all contributes to a more pleasant flow in your thoughts which I’m sure are full of all that OTHER stuff anyway.  A better self esteem definitely does something for your day.  It doesn’t have to be a big deal to anyone but you.  But you know, be a little careful with the smug smile.  You don’t want anyone thinking you stole the cookie from the cookie jar. It’s definitely possible to have a good day just because you want one.  It’s also possible to make a day that isn’t so great not as bad as it could be.  These suggestions are tried and true.  Anyone have any more ideas?  I’m all ears :)                                                                                                                                     

in productivity. 6 Comments

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