Tips for Life, Love, You. | happiness archive at InMyHeels.com

Archive for the 'happiness' Category

28AprSelf Fulfilling Prophecies: Getting Your Life Back

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“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words’ll never hurt me”.

I don’t agree with that statement. 

If you’re an individual who is pretty efficient and zoning out when people lash out comments meant to break your spirit, you may chant that to your merry heart’s content. 

But what if you have heard things that put you down - over and over again?  As a person in a toxic relationship, or as a child whose family member made it their business to  shred your dreams for breakfast - some lasting damage can really be done.

One may not always think of it that way, however -

If you find yourself doubting your capabilities - and that is your norm;
If you find yourself constantly gravitating to people who continue to chip at your self esteem;
If its your norm to dodge opportunities because negative opinions echo in your mind;

That’s all negative programming and you are functioning with those opinions as your guideline.

Often times you might hear someone say “Be Positive!”

What does that mean when you’ve been programmed with the negative untruths of your past?  All you might hear when told “be positive” is “smile and nod ’til this well-meaning person goes away”.  All you might feel when told “You are so beautiful; you are awesome;  you’re so TALENTED!” is *the sound of crickets*

The worst part is - you don’t WANT to disagree.  Really, you don’t.

Not only is it unfair, its unnecessary.  But what has been done, is done.  The key is - HOW do you change your mindset?

After thinking a certain way for so long - how on earth do you initiate the kind of change that gives you a real handle on the direction your life is going?

Continue reading ‘Self Fulfilling Prophecies: Getting Your Life Back’

24MarWho Are You Really: The Definition and Redifinition of You

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There can be a lot of internal conflict and grief about what you SHOULD be doing and what you actually are doing.  Where you SHOULD be in life, and where you are.  If you are someone who wants to have it all but barely has some, you might secretly harbor thoughts that “because you are the way you are”, things can’t happen for you the way they fall cinematically into place for - say - Madonna (which, by the way, is only your perception from the outside looking in).

But consider this. 

Have you ever considered the possibility that a good lot of the way you behave, the things you can or cannot do, your success, the amount of people who know who you are, your level of happiness all depended on your sense of identity

Think of it like this.  You think of yourself as an upstanding citizen.  To maintain that identity, you pay your taxes (…right?), you work or go to school or are “in between” instead of announcing “I am decidedly doing nothing with myself for the rest of my life”, you don’t walk around punching people in the face for sport, and you maintain some semblance of social decency.  Suppose you didn’t think of yourself as an upstanding citizen but rather a common criminal at heart.  You throw your hands up because at least you’re real, and you proclaim “This is ME.  This is who I am.  That’s just the way it is.”  And with that, your standards of living are somewhat different.  In line with the criminal mindset, stealing is just a way of life, you don’t worry about upsetting Uncle Sam, you live with society’s perception of you without losing any sleep about how to change it anymore, and yes - you’ll punch a face or two because you’re bad like that.

Continue reading ‘Who Are You Really: The Definition and Redifinition of You’

11MarOvercoming Self Sabotage

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 I don’t believe that anyone sits around masterminding ways to prevent themselves from succeeding in life.  Who does that?  Usually what happens is girl (or boy, hi - welcome to InMyHeels.com!) sees something she wants, girl chases it ’til she gets it.  Easy enough right?

Well, not so much.

Self sabotage, simple defined, are things that you do that prevent you from achieving a certain level of success.  It’s a sneaky little bugger; it can come in various forms and you may not even realize it for a very long time.  The problem here is without investigating the real culprit behind your lack of improvement, you are most likely to find yourself stuck in a rut.  You probably eventually figure you have to live with your own unhappiness and try to find ways how to - remaining complacent in your own dissatisfaction.  Taking that despair up a notch would be a lot of anger towards life, yourself, and those who seem to be doing much better - wondering why you can’t do it too.

Continue reading ‘Overcoming Self Sabotage’

28FebUninhibited: 10 Ways to Set Yourself Free (Part 1)

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We all have the potential to be prisoners, instead of content inhabitants, of our own lives.  With the correct combination of certain elements and reactions - we can shackle ourselves into the ways of dissatisfaction.  From developing bad habits to becoming victims of our past, we can give up our freedom and divine right to be happy.

But why live that way?

There are enough factors in life that contribute to your personal hardships.  With goals come obstacles, with dreams come fears, and roads to success have built in pitfalls just waiting and ready for you.

If you want to claim your freedom, you’re going to have to do the work.  You’re going to need to actively take steps towards the direction you want to take instead of mere looking at it longingly.  Though these tips are simple, they can be difficult.  A lot of that has to do with them going against your currently conditioned state- which is why it’s a great thing that you are capable of rerouting your mindset and producing change.

Do you want to be free of the things that inhibit your happiness? 

Here are - in no particular order - five different ways to start breaking free.  This is good stuff (scout’s honor) so I suggest you subscribe to InMyHeels.com if you haven’t already so you don’t miss Part 2 as well as other Tips for Life, Love, and of course - You.

Continue reading ‘Uninhibited: 10 Ways to Set Yourself Free (Part 1)’

06FebHow to Discover Your Talents

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Here’s a train of thought that would plague me from time to time:

‘If I ever went bowling, I’d get an ok score.  In terms of singing, I can carry a pretty tune but I’m no Whitney.  I can write music too but you know, just for me.  And oh, I can easily strike and maintain conversation with people, until someone else steals my thunder.’

When you marvel at people who are just so darn good at what they do, it makes you wonder - where do you shine?

It’s a startling and beautiful sight when your eyes land on a young, gifted artist who creates lifelike sketches.  Some people can dance and evoke emotion without any formal training at all!

The question is where does this come from so you can tap into it too?

Continue reading ‘How to Discover Your Talents’


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