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28AprSelf Fulfilling Prophecies: Getting Your Life Back

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“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words’ll never hurt me”.

I don’t agree with that statement. 

If you’re an individual who is pretty efficient and zoning out when people lash out comments meant to break your spirit, you may chant that to your merry heart’s content. 

But what if you have heard things that put you down - over and over again?  As a person in a toxic relationship, or as a child whose family member made it their business to  shred your dreams for breakfast - some lasting damage can really be done.

One may not always think of it that way, however -

If you find yourself doubting your capabilities - and that is your norm;
If you find yourself constantly gravitating to people who continue to chip at your self esteem;
If its your norm to dodge opportunities because negative opinions echo in your mind;

That’s all negative programming and you are functioning with those opinions as your guideline.

Often times you might hear someone say “Be Positive!”

What does that mean when you’ve been programmed with the negative untruths of your past?  All you might hear when told “be positive” is “smile and nod ’til this well-meaning person goes away”.  All you might feel when told “You are so beautiful; you are awesome;  you’re so TALENTED!” is *the sound of crickets*

The worst part is - you don’t WANT to disagree.  Really, you don’t.

Not only is it unfair, its unnecessary.  But what has been done, is done.  The key is - HOW do you change your mindset?

After thinking a certain way for so long - how on earth do you initiate the kind of change that gives you a real handle on the direction your life is going?

Continue reading ‘Self Fulfilling Prophecies: Getting Your Life Back’

10AprHalf-Assed: Becoming Half Your Size

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When you see 194 lbs - what do you think?  Fit person?  Fat person?  Doesn’t matter.   194 lbs is an entire person. 

Imagine losing that extra person in weight after years of being obese.  It’s been part of your identity and has defined a good portion of life as you know it.  And now, that extra person is gone.

People would want to know, how did you do it?  How did you rid yourself of that much weight and - hear this - details please!

Well, my dear reader, I’ve got a goody to share.

The good blogging gods have smiled upon me and as fate would have it, I won a pre-released copy of Jennette Fulda’s book *Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir  For those of you who don’t know of Jennette (yet - because lucky you, I’m telling you about her now) she has lost 194 lbs thus far.  Continue reading ‘Half-Assed: Becoming Half Your Size’

24MarWho Are You Really: The Definition and Redifinition of You

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There can be a lot of internal conflict and grief about what you SHOULD be doing and what you actually are doing.  Where you SHOULD be in life, and where you are.  If you are someone who wants to have it all but barely has some, you might secretly harbor thoughts that “because you are the way you are”, things can’t happen for you the way they fall cinematically into place for - say - Madonna (which, by the way, is only your perception from the outside looking in).

But consider this. 

Have you ever considered the possibility that a good lot of the way you behave, the things you can or cannot do, your success, the amount of people who know who you are, your level of happiness all depended on your sense of identity

Think of it like this.  You think of yourself as an upstanding citizen.  To maintain that identity, you pay your taxes (…right?), you work or go to school or are “in between” instead of announcing “I am decidedly doing nothing with myself for the rest of my life”, you don’t walk around punching people in the face for sport, and you maintain some semblance of social decency.  Suppose you didn’t think of yourself as an upstanding citizen but rather a common criminal at heart.  You throw your hands up because at least you’re real, and you proclaim “This is ME.  This is who I am.  That’s just the way it is.”  And with that, your standards of living are somewhat different.  In line with the criminal mindset, stealing is just a way of life, you don’t worry about upsetting Uncle Sam, you live with society’s perception of you without losing any sleep about how to change it anymore, and yes - you’ll punch a face or two because you’re bad like that.

Continue reading ‘Who Are You Really: The Definition and Redifinition of You’

21JanWhen Gossip Attacks: You

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Have you ever been a victim of gossip?

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Have you ever found yourself at the very center of unwanted attention?  You know - the very center as in a perfect bull’s eye with everyone’s hurtful words as darts using you as target practice?  Whether they have great aim and are spot on or they are just letting ‘em fly, the wounds hurt all around.

Now, if you’re a celebrity, They say no publicity is “bad” publicity.  But if you’re an everyday (but still fabulous) girl, the last thing you need at the office are a group ‘knowing eyes’ glancing away with the soundtrack of hushed whispers and snickers.  You don’t need your attendance at school commemorated with the uncomfortable air that comes with being gossiped about.  I won’t pretend that this is a simple situation because truth be told, anything that has to do with being criticized and having your feelings hurt is, by nature, a difficult thing to deal with.  But I CAN suggest a couple of things you can bear in mind that can both strengthen you and grant you the graces you need to keep your chin up as they cast those stones.

Continue reading ‘When Gossip Attacks: You’

11JanBe Comfortable In Your Own Skin

Picture this.

You leave your home with a confident stride headed to that job interview that made your heart jump the instant you found out about the opportunity it promised.  All you have to do is ACE this puppy.  That’s all. 

*SCENE CHANGE*

You saunter into the waiting room of this establishment and you arrive to the sight of a few other people who are sitting with intent written all over their faces.  You know that look.  They’re here for your job.  (Yes, your job. They just don’t know it yet.)  They want it too.

 *QUICK ASSESSMENT*

Forget “Don’t judge a book by its cover” right?  This is serious business.  Who are you up against?  Your eyes scan those faces, those appearances, those clothes. 

Slouching body?  Not enough grace.  Next. 

Ok, really?  He’s not getting this job.  Not dressed like that he isn’t.  Next again.

Oh no.  Is that her resume?!  That’s a lot of text!  Uh-oh… What if she’s done more than you have?  What if she’s better spoken?  What if they like her better? 

Continue reading ‘Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin’


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