Tag Archive for 'self-esteem'

09JunHow to Be the Most Likable You

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An anonymous reader of InMyHeels.com requested this piece so true to the nature of this blog where the walk InYourHeels counts, I am taking a stab at it and would love your feedback. What makes you likable?

It is no secret that first impressions are important. One gander your way and often times someone makes general assumptions based upon your appearance, gait, speech - you name it. Meeting new people already has its set of challenges. Now to add another complication, suppose you get the impression that the person/people you are meeting don’t like you. Maybe they don’t seem very receptive or impressed by your presence. Want to twist the knife? Suppose they are meeting someone else for the first time as well and are simply delighted with her company - and not shy about expressing it.

That hurts.

Before I continue, please bear in mind a fact that you undoubtedly know however serves as little consolation when it feels like more than one person isn’t moved by your company. Not everyone will like your fabulous self. I know - it’s a tough pill to swallow when you’re as wonderful as you are but let’s not forget this bit of wisdom. Their negativity is not about you - it’s about them and THEIR story. How do you know that you’re not the spitting image of Charlene from the 3rd grade that made that person’s life a living hell?

You don’t. And that’s just one very real example of millions that explain the distaste. This is why its imperative to work on yourself and being the best person you can be in your own skin. With that comes the confidence that this is you. If someone can’t accept you as is, well, tough noogies!

Now - the most likable you is not very far off. I understand that not everyone is Ms. Friendly. But some conscious effort on your part can make all the difference. And if that’s what you’re looking for, here are some tips that work.

Continue reading ‘How to Be the Most Likable You’

in body & image. 19 Comments

01JunYour Q&A: Getting to Know Yourself

 

 

The questions that you ask yourself and others dictate the kind of life you lead.  When you start to ask different questions, you can start living the life you want to live. 

- Tim Brownson

 

It’s another Free InMyHeels Giveaway!!!  Head to the bottom of this post to see how you can win a free copy of the book Don’t Ask Stupid Questions?:  There Are No Stupid Questions!!!

What is it that you have swimming around in your mind, preoccupying the space up there and either

a) filling you with joy, strong motivation, and a healthy appetite for life

or

b)  pain striking anxiety, fear, and self doubt? 

 

What type of questions do you ask yourself?

Are you mostly likely to ask yourself “What can I do to make this great idea happen?!” or “What makes me think that I can do something like that?  Are you most likely to question the timing of a new project or the actual existance of the necessary talent?

So many questions, so valuable your time in this life you live. 

Do you actually get that? 

This LIFE that YOU live!  <– The exclamation point is there because as a mere phrase, “This life that you live” is merely cliche.  But when you think about the fact that your deep happiness or everpresent self dissatisfaction can be tipped either way, you come to realize with excitement (or sheer horror) that its really up to you to do something about it to get it where you’d like it to be!

So the question then is - Where do you start?

The author that I quoted in the beginning of this post is Tim Brownson, the life coach behind the excellent blog that is ADaringAdventure.com and I’ve had the delightful pleasure of reading his book Don’t Ask Stupid Questions:  The Are No Stupid Questions which deeply inspired me to whip up this piece for you.  I’ll be using some of the questions he provides in his book as headlines for some important points you need to hit in your self discovery.  That being said, I highly recommend this book as quality reading for simple tips and questions that help you find EXACTLY what you’re looking for.  You.

Continue reading ‘Your Q&A: Getting to Know Yourself’

in body & image, from (JE)Mi to You and life. 17 Comments

28AprSelf Fulfilling Prophecies: Getting Your Life Back

on-and-on-and-on.jpg

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words’ll never hurt me”.

…

I don’t agree with that statement. 

If you’re an individual who is pretty efficient and zoning out when people lash out comments meant to break your spirit, you may chant that to your merry heart’s content. 

But what if you have heard things that put you down - over and over again?  As a person in a toxic relationship, or as a child whose family member made it their business to  shred your dreams for breakfast - some lasting damage can really be done.

One may not always think of it that way, however -

If you find yourself doubting your capabilities - and that is your norm;
If you find yourself constantly gravitating to people who continue to chip at your self esteem;
If its your norm to dodge opportunities because negative opinions echo in your mind;

That’s all negative programming and you are functioning with those opinions as your guideline.

Often times you might hear someone say “Be Positive!”

What does that mean when you’ve been programmed with the negative untruths of your past?  All you might hear when told “be positive” is “smile and nod ’til this well-meaning person goes away”.  All you might feel when told “You are so beautiful; you are awesome;  you’re so TALENTED!” is *the sound of crickets*

The worst part is - you don’t WANT to disagree.  Really, you don’t.

Not only is it unfair, its unnecessary.  But what has been done, is done.  The key is - HOW do you change your mindset?

After thinking a certain way for so long - how on earth do you initiate the kind of change that gives you a real handle on the direction your life is going?

Continue reading ‘Self Fulfilling Prophecies: Getting Your Life Back’

in body & image, happiness, life and motivation. 20 Comments

11JanBe Comfortable In Your Own Skin

Picture this.

You leave your home with a confident stride headed to that job interview that made your heart jump the instant you found out about the opportunity it promised.  All you have to do is ACE this puppy.  That’s all. 

*SCENE CHANGE*

You saunter into the waiting room of this establishment and you arrive to the sight of a few other people who are sitting with intent written all over their faces.  You know that look.  They’re here for your job.  (Yes, your job. They just don’t know it yet.)  They want it too.

 *QUICK ASSESSMENT*

Forget “Don’t judge a book by its cover” right?  This is serious business.  Who are you up against?  Your eyes scan those faces, those appearances, those clothes. 

Slouching body?  Not enough grace.  Next. 

Ok, really?  He’s not getting this job.  Not dressed like that he isn’t.  Next again.

Oh no.  Is that her resume?!  That’s a lot of text!  Uh-oh… What if she’s done more than you have?  What if she’s better spoken?  What if they like her better? 

Continue reading ‘Be Comfortable In Your Own Skin’

in body & image and motivation. 3 Comments

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