I’m going to go there and say that big Jan. 1 is looming in, bringing with it a ginormous shadow of self expectation.It’s exciting in a gut twisting, “I swear I will keep my New Year’s resolutions” sort of way.
Nice.
But let’s talk about resolving to resolute for a sec. Of course you’re going to quit smoking, lose twenty pounds and become a super efficient wife/sister/daughter/employee/mom/this list goes on. These are all admirable goals, and I’m sure you have plenty more where those came from. But exactly how do you plan to pull this off?
Whatever plan you have in place for your new, not so new venture, there is one thing that is guaranteed to pull the rug from under you before you even get your chance to shine.Not accepting the YOU that you are to begin with.Quite honestly, it will undermine everything that you’re going to try to do and to prove it, I ask you to think about the last time you tried to make a change. It can be the same exact New Year’s resolution you have in mind as you read this. If self loathing were the backbone of the positive change you were looking to make, you wouldn’t have this resolution to begin with. Even if some anger with yourself were to fuel some action, it just won’t be enough to sustain it. This is because the root of your change has to come from your desire to improve your life. The root cannot be the very same despair that you wish to escape. It’s a frustrating cycle if you sit and think about it.And I’m so sure that you’re not looking to ring in the February of your spanking new year ripping your hair out in defeat.So how exactly do you change perspective? Well;
What Are Your Reasons For Wanting Change?
That’s right; you need to identify every nitty gritty private little detail. Write it down and take a good look at your reasons. Somewhere in that list, you ought to see a little something about it making you happy, or it satisfying you. Without that reason in your list, you may have a little problem. Just how long can you sustain a major life change without your own desire being invested in it? That’s right; I am advocating a touch of selfishness. Of course, this life change may benefit a loved one. But you, yourself, should also be a loved one. A loved one that you care to make happy.
Who Are You Now?
Does this change have anything to do with wanting to change who you are as a person? What is it that you’re looking to change then? You need to know your values, your ideals, your buttons, and your abilities.
You have to know you in order to do anything about you. Have you ever told yourself you were going to do something different just about every time you remember? So your best friend is the super organized type and you admire that.
You want to be organized too and so you swear you’ll clean up the garage every time you pass it. It’s not going to happen until you find a way that works for you. In order for you to find what works for you, you need to know yourself enough to say “I don’t do label makers every Sunday but I DO like Ikea’s organizing system thing. Maybe I can..” When you find how to harness your personality, your like’s and dislike’s to your advantage, you will find that you’re in a very good place for YOU. But for that to happen, you do need to get to know yourself- just as you are.
What Are You Expecting?
I remember watching an awesome commercial (I really don’t remember what company it was for). In this commercial, an overweight man starts working out his very hardest I believe on a treadmill, gets off the treadmill, and gets on a scale and looks at it expectantly. I thought that was hilarious because it reminded me of myself. That’s right, I too peruse the world of imagining instant gratification. However, I also know that mind frame just may be setting yourself up for super early frustration. You need to take a look at whatever it is you’re going to work on or change, and be honest with yourself. What is it that you’re expecting? What happens if this expectation doesn’t come to pass as soon as you would hope, or not at all? What does that mean for you? You want to brace yourself for the possibilities so that you might have something to anchor you when you might feel like wavering from your promise to yourself. Bracing yourself for the possibilities does not mean inducing anxiety, or becoming the official worry wart of the New Year. It means going into your venture with a clue and a positive mind. If you truly want it to happen for you, even if there are setbacks, then you’ll really make it happen for you.
Accept Who You Are Now
The person that you are now will still be the person that will be Jan. 2nd. You will still be in the same skin, walking in your own shoes. Ultimately, regardless of what it is you are about to do, accepting who you are today will help you shape yourself to the optimal you of tomorrow. It isn’t always a simple task for everyone because maybe your wish for change is a desperate one. So look at it this way. You are granting yourself the gift of a better you. The you that you are now deserves to enjoy such a gift because you’re the only you you’ve got!
Whatever your experiences may be, owning your own life and claiming your happiness is something you decide to do. For yourself.
Living this life to the fullest is you living a charmed life of your own standards. So it’s ok to work towards that. Try to work these suggestions into your frame of mind. You ought to have yourself a Happy New Year :-) so get to it!
