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Relationships have many fine points. The love and companionship, the intimacy, and the inside jokes all become part of that force that attaches you to someone. There may be many bad times as well but often times the good seems to outweigh the bad. Maybe you’ve even experienced a whole lot of bad but the little bits of good just feel SO good that you wait it out and hope change will bring with it a more consistent stream of better times.
Have you ever been trapped in that waiting period? Would you even know if you were?
There are many clues that can alert you to the stagnancy that we may be too blind in love to see. Sometimes the fear of loneliness or the unknown is more than enough to keep you in. Take those fears, throw in a healthy dose of denial and you’ve got yourself a situation. Without even knowing it, you may begin to change while hoping for change. Sometimes those changes within yourself are not for the better, but for the worse - you begin to disappear in the name of your relationship.
Many of us do all types of things in the name of love. But if you’re losing your sense of self, is it really love that you’re fighting for?
Continue reading ‘Beyond Recognition: Losing Yourself In a Relationship’
There is a special kind of connection available to couples everywhere. *Ahem* Available being the operative word. After all, we’re saturated with scary divorce stats, horror stories and bad experiences. We’ve all witnessed more than our share of the reprehensible behavior between couples. What’s a good prime time drama without a decent backstab between lovers? And often, girls/guys nights out are flooded with ‘empowering’ acts of thumbs down to the opposite sex for anything outside of self gratification. So it makes perfect sense that a good lot of us hold an attitude of what we think is self preservation and build a nice wall around ourselves with black and white stills of horrors from the past hung up as infallible reminders. This is where the tucking real emotions away begins. Facades of perfection to stave singleness away. If you’ve ever been with someone and had to endure a fight where the methods of attack were using not-so-delightful bits of your past as arsenal, well, you know better than gifting anyone new a history about yourself.
In one sense, you are successful with this method. You’ve got yourself decent partnership with a nice enough person and you don’t have to show up to dinner parties alone. You experience superficial passions and what you don’t get from him, a decent soap should be able to provide. The important thing is you’re not alone and…well.. this is what it’s supposed to be anyway right? The exhilarating highs between couples you read about seem to be exclusive to new relationships, torrid affairs, and high school.
Continue reading ‘Stripped: Vulnerability In Love’
