The inescapable truth of break ups and divorces is the broken heart they can leave behind and the effect it has on the life you’re trying to live. Ever tried to focus on a spreadsheet when someone you love just walked out on you? Perhaps you’re the exact opposite - you can’t step outside of your work because what’s waiting for you is a shattered mess called your life and it isn’t exactly going to clean itself up.
The magnitude of heart break is inexplicable when you are the one experiencing it. Often times, as the resilient beings that we are, we adapt - somehow - to the changes they bring. The adaptation may be clunky and awkward sometimes but we do the best we can the best way we know how.
I want to bring you a bit of the know how.
Will it bring your better days with that person back? Not likely.
But here are some of the intentions of this piece and hopefully the suggestions provided prove to be useful to you:
- That “Why” question
- A better handle on every day life when sudden depression hits
- How to live without him
- Feelings of abandonment and what to do with them
- The difference between trying again and a never ending cycle
- Will you ever love again?
- What to do while you do your emotional work
I’ll make the rash assumption that this parting was ugly in my attempt to address some of the extreme feelings (and their derivatives) and what to do with them.
Continue reading ‘Survival of a Broken Heart: A How-To Guide’
At some point in your life, if you haven’t already, you will find yourself in the awkward position of speaking to someone who has lost someone they love.
I’m going to take the liberty to make these statements with certainty based on facts true to people in general:
- Death, regardless of the cause, is a certain part of life.
- So are the taxes…But that’s another post.
When you come the point where you are standing face to pain-stricken face with someone dealing with a loss, you may feel compelled to say something. Naturally; after all, in the spirit of compassion for a fellow human being, you want to contribute some comfort to her suffering to lessen the pain. But as you begin to search for the right words, you may suddenly realize that this is no ordinary situation and think- what could you possibly say to someone who is facing the ultimate loss?
Continue reading ‘What to Say to a Grieving Friend’
A year ago today, my husband passed away.
I remember the pitch black horror that crushed me at the deep voice of the medical examiner on the other end of the line. I remember interrupting him with a shrill voice, asking him
“Is what you’re going to tell me irreversible?”
“Yes” he replied quietly.
“Then don’t tell me.”
My logic was- I was now in our home alone. So if I passed out from shock or something, there would be no one to rescue me. That was my husband’s job - one that he held with tender care and regard. And if what this man was telling me was true, he wouldn’t be able to.
In the future, as time grants me more strength to go into more details, I will be able to address the many complications that came with losing the love of my life because my genuine hope is that my message falls upon the tear filled eyes of the grieving widow/widower.
In this post, I offer to you some of my own personal experience as a young widow as well as tips on coping effectively particularly at the wake of this horrible time in your life.
Continue reading ‘When Your Husband Dies’
