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28AprSelf Fulfilling Prophecies: Getting Your Life Back

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words’ll never hurt me”.

…

I don’t agree with that statement.

If you’re an individual who is pretty efficient and zoning out when people lash out comments meant to break your spirit, you may chant that to your merry heart’s content.

But what if you have heard things that put you down - over and over again? As a person in a toxic relationship, or as a child whose family member made it their business to shred your dreams for breakfast - some lasting damage can really be done.

One may not always think of it that way, however -

If you find yourself doubting your capabilities - and that is your norm;
If you find yourself constantly gravitating to people who continue to chip at your self esteem;
If its your norm to dodge opportunities because negative opinions echo in your mind;

That’s all negative programming and you are functioning with those opinions as your guideline.

Often times you might hear someone say “Be Positive!”

What does that mean when you’ve been programmed with the negative untruths of your past? All you might hear when told “be positive” is “smile and nod ’til this well-meaning person goes away”. All you might feel when told “You are so beautiful; you are awesome; you’re so TALENTED!” is *the sound of crickets*

The worst part is - you don’t WANT to disagree. Really, you don’t.

Not only is it unfair, its unnecessary. But what has been done, is done. The key is - HOW do you change your mindset?

After thinking a certain way for so long - how on earth do you initiate the kind of change that gives you a real handle on the direction your life is going?

Continue reading ‘Self Fulfilling Prophecies: Getting Your Life Back’

in body & image, happiness, life and motivation. 18 Comments

17AprWhat the Super Successful You Knows

How long have you been this uncomfortable?

With certain aspects of your life that is.

Are you constantly poring over someone else’s get things done system - only to find the only thing you’re doing is frustrating yourself yet again? It doesn’t even make any sense. It works for some people - why not you?

How about your job? Are you supposed to like it because you spent a good lot of your time for the past __ years learning for a shot at your dream only to find that it just isn’t flowing as well as you pictured?

Is it you?

Quite frankly yes.

It’s you…not being you. And that can be a problem.

For those on a serious quest for the inspired career move, having issues with learning, not understanding the relationship advice you’re getting (and therefore you MUST be an ogre) ignoring your natural tendencies will leave you feeling awkward. You can technically force yourself to operate under someone else system but that’s the underlying discomfort you feel…

..and it’s probably feeding that growing monster of resentment that you’re carrying on your bare back.

You’d be amazed at what knowing and respecting your own personal style of operation can do for you. You’d be super productive and a lot happier with your circumstances.

And to think that people go on, for YEARS, oblivious to this fact and suffering a faceless unhappiness because of it! Looks like there’s more to that “Be Yourself” thing huh.

This is the part where I tell you that you can shell out fifty bucks or so over here at Kolbe.com to find out about yourself for your best life.

You can thank your bloggy stars that JEMi knows JUST how you feel and is about to discuss the general guideline that test shows you.

*smile*

Continue reading ‘What the Super Successful You Knows’

in productivity. 16 Comments

11MarOvercoming Self Sabotage

I don’t believe that anyone sits around masterminding ways to prevent themselves from succeeding in life. Who does that? Usually what happens is girl (or boy, hi - welcome to InMyHeels.com!) sees something she wants, girl chases it ’til she gets it. Easy enough right?

Well, not so much.

Self sabotage, simple defined, are things that you do that prevent you from achieving a certain level of success. It’s a sneaky little bugger; it can come in various forms and you may not even realize it for a very long time. The problem here is without investigating the real culprit behind your lack of improvement, you are most likely to find yourself stuck in a rut. You probably eventually figure you have to live with your own unhappiness and try to find ways how to - remaining complacent in your own dissatisfaction. Taking that despair up a notch would be a lot of anger towards life, yourself, and those who seem to be doing much better - wondering why you can’t do it too.

Continue reading ‘Overcoming Self Sabotage’

in happiness and life. 13 Comments

03JanLoving Out Loud

Photo by másfuertequeun ratón

It’s very easy to lose sight of a few, very key things in life especially when it involves the people you love the most. After all, if you see someone every day, it isn’t a special event of life to see them right? How about friends or family? Above all else, that person KNOWS you love him or her so why go into certain odes of declaration on, say, a regular old Thursday night?

I promise you, you are gaining so much more than you are losing by Loving Out Loud.

What is it to Love Out Loud?

A very simple “I love you” spoken at anytime - NOT only on special occasions - is a staple of the Love Out Loud concept. Being a little more mindful of telling your loved ones that you love and appreciate them can enrich both your lives more than you might give it credit for.

What Good Does It Do Anyway?

The thing is besides it being a very sweet thing to do , you never know when your last moments with someone lies. You aren’t going to receive a little ping telling you “Hey, Ms. Wonderful, you have 10 more hours with Johnny so get to loving!” You will find losing that person to be a relentlessly painful thing to live through, but one available salve for such a sad time is knowing that you shared your love for him/her time and time again. To know that your loved one did not part with you without feeling that love from you helps you get through.

You also have no idea what’s going on in the mind’s of your loved ones. Often times, people in our lives suffer from feeling under appreciated, unloved, just… not so special. I use the word ’suffer’ because over time, feeling that way a little bit at a time becomes a mountain of sadness.

How about the best reason of all?

With love comes happiness. Surely, you want to share that happiness with the people who matter to you. But that can’t happen if you are so consumed with the comings and going of your busy life that you ignore the little things that make you feel whole to begin with.

Actions Count

As important as saying “I love you” is (it really REALLY is), showing that love through your actions is just as important. You want your loved one to feel it because experiencing genuine love is one of life’s greatest joys. Think of how you feel when your special-somebody leaves a little surprise or when your best friend picks up a new CD she just KNEW you’d love. Now think about how you feel when you do something that makes your mom deliriously happy, or your baby smile. You don’t gain anything by skimping on expressing that you care.

Considering how life holds no stops on bad punch lines, enjoy the good stuff too! Loving Out Loud isn’t limited to holidays and birthdays. You have an opportunity to enrich your relationships and your life every day!

Don’t lose sight of the importance of a little effort.

Loving Out Loud is the gift that keeps on giving. It nurtures the roots of your relationships so handle with care.

in happiness and love. 7 Comments

27DecLife. What’s In It For You?

Photo by treyevan

I’m almost giddy because I feel like I’m about to tell you a secret. Well, secret may not be the word because you may Google the topic of self improvement to your heart’s content but hear me out for a moment. The notion isn’t a new one but just maybe - even if you’ve heard “there’s only ONE LIFE TO LIVE” a million and three times - you haven’t really considered how to get the best bang for your buck.

Taking the time to really look at yourself and where you’re at on actual satisfaction with self is so important. You could live the most affluential lifestyle known to man. You could be at the top of the world with perfect hair and a fool proof plan to stay there. In fact, whatever success is to you, you could absolutely cloak yourself in it and clutch its golden fabrics. But if you aren’t happy with yourself and the life that you star in, you’re missing out in the biggest way.

The problem many people have is putting all the focus and attention on the aesthetics of The Good Life. You know- as long as you look like you’re playing your role successfully, you’re as good as gold.

But that’s the thing. There’s more to it than that.

There’s a world of difference between flashing a smile and having a reason to smile. Wearing a great outfit and feeling really good in the skin you’re in. Owning a house and living in a home. Being coupled up and being in a meaningful relationship. Speaking out loud and having something to say. Being seen by everyone who counts and being seen as someone who counts.

The longer you pretend that it’s all the same thing, the longer you cut yourself short.

I believe in wanting better for yourself and taking the initiative to find out what “better for you” entails.

Choosing To Live a Conscious Life

If you’ve ever felt like you were just rolling with the punches, that life is just happening to you, or that you don’t have any say in the happiness you feel in life, I’d like to introduce you to Conscious Living.

When you choose to live consciously, you choose to live life in full color: aware of your feelings, your circumstances, and your choices. The incredibly powerful thing about this is with awareness comes a new palette of choices for richer experiences in your world.

You don’t have to live a life that is a byproduct of a series of events. This goes for every single facet of the life that you know now. Work, school, relationships, friendships, health-every one of these things affect how you feel about life and every one of these things can be tweaked to a richer quality. Who says you have to stifle a depression that is growing underneath the surface of your day job? If you aren’t happy with the work that takes up such a huge percentage of your day to day life, you can choose to explore options that are rooted in something that you actually enjoy doing. Some people may feel that this isn’t reality- that reality comes in the form of the bills that frequent your mailbox monthly. That’s one way to look at it but it isn’t the only way. You can choose to find another way to pay those bills. You can choose to do it by doing work you enjoy. And in making THAT choice, you can choose to be happier.

Imagine that. Actually having the choice to be happier about anything in your life. Having a say in how this life thing goes.

If you want to grab the reigns, just do so. This means taking a real look at the relationships in your life, the health that you’re in, the stress that you feel and what CAUSES that stress. This means choosing to do something about that hamster-in-the-wheel feeling you get every morning. This means daring yourself to dream, to look outside of the box because there just might be something for you there. This means replacing can’t with how because once you grasp that there is ALWAYS a way to do something, you know that you’re already halfway there.

It takes courage to dare to live. It’s can be as scary as it is exciting however as daunting as it might seem, learning to live a conscious life trumps resigning to live an unsatisfying one any day.

You’re the author of the story of your life. Grab the pen and make it great.

in life. 0 Comments

Tag Archive for 'happiness'