She’s the one we watch in wonder.  Maybe some envy her.  Maybe some compete (in their heads of course)….(or not).  You know this girl.  She’s the one on the elliptical next to you scorching calories like her life depends on it.  Or she’s the one in the office who scored that promotion you silently ached for.  Her hair is straighter/curlier/cooler/better color, she does the walk, talks the talk, bakes the cake much better than you.

Eff her?

Well.  Maybe a little.  But that part is human.

You read it in our mags all the time.

If you want a promotion, get some stones and request one.
If you want to lose weight, eat right and excercise.
If you want a bigger badder title, get the right qualifications.
If you want a firm butt, you better get to those squats.

This list can go on and on but I must add a note to amend these suggestions.

There is nothing that can rip you like endlessly comparing yourself to another person hair for hair.  And utilizing all that energy for the sake of comparison instead of focusing it on what you can do for you is a self-defeating black hole.  Trust me on this one.

There is a certain magic in empowering yourself.  The mind is a powerful thing and the way you address the things you want to change in your life makes all the difference. 

I must mention that fear plays a huge factor in alot of these situations.  The fear of failure, the fear of actual success, the fear of finding out that you aren’t ‘good enough’ for it, etc.  Allowing fear to cripple you is like handcuffing yourself to your post in the Land of The Unsatisfied.  However, you haven’t thrown away the key.  The key is in your ability to take a step back and asking yourself ”How do I do this?  What is the worse that can happen?” 

Assessing your situation, you can search for ways to arm yourself and create a plan or approach to getting what you want.  Then the actually DOING it part..that counts too.  You may very well be discounting abilities you didn’t even know you had by not taking action.  However, *inserting disclaimer here*, be smart about moving forward.  The I-Can-Do-It approach requires you to think about what you need to execute your actions.  Don’t go to your boss and demand a raise after working there for two days.  Don’t go to the NYC Marathon with spanking new sneakers expecting to run it straight in four hours when the last time you hit the pavement was when you skinned your knee as a kid from rollerblading.  Identify the steps you need to make towards your goal.

The Go-Get-It Girl wasn’t born in Manolo Blahniks and abs.  Everyone has to more or less work for where they are.  Some people are granted the smile of the gods and thats ok.  You have your own gifts that you should cultivate to your advantage.  You have your abilities.  So quit trying to walk straight ahead with your eyes fixated on the next girl.  You’ll bump into a wall.  And it’ll always hurt.

Eyes forward, look at where you’re going, and Go Get It.