Hey there! Welcome to InMyHeels.com! :) If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for stopping by!

 As a young twenty something with a few major life experiences already under my belt, I think it’s safe to say I’ve come to experience moments where I was faced with two options.  Either I a) become independent and stand on my own two feet or b) find another way to skip assuming responsibility for myself.  Option B is easy.  You can quit something that requires real effort, avoid confrontation and difficult situations, or hide.  Option A, on the other hand, requires a whole lot of courage and a whole lot of will.

Interestingly enough, I have chosen Option A for myself a variety of times.  Those times were major moments and big decisions that I still am amazed I’ve handled appropriately.  I’m happy that I was able to step up to the plate.  But other times, smaller deals - but still important - I cop out with Option B with a sigh of temporary relief.  Worst yet, I’ve noticed that a collection of smaller Option B’s = a habit.  A tendency to avoid placing myself in the limelight that comes with taking responsibility.

In my personal decision to cut down on that, I’ve noticed a growth in my emotional strength.  With that emotional strength came less fear and a desire to test my abilities.  Experiencing life in full, bright colors is so much more fulfilling than the bland world of cowardice. 

There’s something to be said about claiming your independence.  You become you.  You meet the woman inside and you learn what she likes, what she doesn’t like.  You learn your preferences due to an appetite for what you love versus navigating through all the things you don’t. 

I’ve listed some of the things I learned in the past year, as I was literally forced to make a choice between Options A or B.  I’m glad I (reluctantly) chose Option A.  I’m falling in love with the woman I’m turning out to be.

You Can CHOOSE What You Want or You Can Let Life Happen to You

If you take a good look at where you are today, are you living the life you created or are you a victim of circumstance?  Here’s the difference between the two.  Living the life you created means you chose your current situation or you chose what situation you’d like to be in.  You seek opportunities and take them if they show up.  You open your eyes to see possibilities when everyone else sees nothing.  You look for ways to improve your life and you enjoy the fruits of your labor.  It’s satisfaction.  Bliss.  Life is delicious because it’s in your flavor.  And victim of circumstance - well that is the easier of the two and yet it costs a whole lot more.  Being a victim of circumstance means things happen - good or bad - and you go with the flow.  Life sucks today and it will tomorrow… and the next day, and the next.  It’s this way because - well that’s the way life is.  And so the comfortable lull of complacency sets in and you get used to life as is.  You watch those who are better off live and you accept that things are just the way that they are.

I have to tell you, having been on both sides, the latter isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  In fact, after experiencing what choice offers, you actually relish what you’ve done for yourself and you continue to do so. 

No Action IS an Action

Darn it, right?  I know.  If you are suffering the misfortune of an abusive relationship or an insufferable job that doesn’t use your talents OR your mind - remaining where you are because it seems harder to leave is still a choice you make.  Now, I’m fully aware that in real life, there are big obstacles.  In real life, attachments, fears, loneliness are all factors that might make a bad situation seem more attractive that a “worse” situation.  But if your circumstance is bad, how can you afford to stay?  Your happiness is your livelihood.  And besides - in real life - there is always a way around.  With determination, you begin to see a bigger picture - and THAT is empowerment.  The bigger picture will show you that the world is a BIG place, full of people.  Full of opportunity.  Full of information.  Seeking help, even on a private small scale is a big move.  You inch towards your independence - you inch towards a joy that you are entitled to.

Independence Is…

• Taking responsibility for your actions. 
• Making decisions that contribute to your own happiness. 
• Grabbing a hold of new knowledge on a regular basis. 
• Knowing where you stand financially.
• Using fear to your advantage, not your hindrance.
• Securing your future.
• Learning to draw your happiness and fulfillment from yourself rather depending on others to fulfill you.
• Recognizing a bad situation, despite your comfort level.
• Creating the life you want.
• Striving for your personal best.
• Learning from your past mistakes
• Being in a relationship and still being you.
• Alive and well even when loving and depending on your loved ones.
• Enjoying your own beauty instead of looking to society for the prompt on what is beautiful for today.
• Making your own decisions.
• Forming your own opinions AND letting them be known when you must.
• Personal confidence.
• A Challenge.
• Freeing.
• You taking a hold of you.

Independence is a series of decisions that are related by one common denominator.  That denominator is you. 

How do YOU fit in the choices that you make?  Are you doing things to the benefit of the world and not including yourself in the equations? 

The first step can be a small one.  For instance, seemingly insurmountable debt while you work your first, entry level job.  Avoiding those bills like a plague only creates a bigger monster.  Taking charge would be opening those envelopes, getting in touch with those banks, and finding out where you stand.  Seeking education on finances and budgeting is another one.  Just because you didn’t drop that $27,000 in credit card debt in full doesn’t mean you are any less independent than the woman who did. 

Taking responsibility makes you the woman you are - in your entirety. 

And trust me.  It feels good.

If you’d like free, regularly updated articles on being the best you, subscribe via RSS or e-mail!

Photo by: Boskizzi

If you enjoyed this article, please Digg, Stumble, or bookmark on Technorati. Your support is deeply appreciated :)

Hide Sites