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Picture this.

You leave your home with a confident stride headed to that job interview that made your heart jump the instant you found out about the opportunity it promised.  All you have to do is ACE this puppy.  That’s all. 

*SCENE CHANGE*

You saunter into the waiting room of this establishment and you arrive to the sight of a few other people who are sitting with intent written all over their faces.  You know that look.  They’re here for your job.  (Yes, your job. They just don’t know it yet.)  They want it too.

 *QUICK ASSESSMENT*

Forget “Don’t judge a book by its cover” right?  This is serious business.  Who are you up against?  Your eyes scan those faces, those appearances, those clothes. 

Slouching body?  Not enough grace.  Next. 

Ok, really?  He’s not getting this job.  Not dressed like that he isn’t.  Next again.

Oh no.  Is that her resume?!  That’s a lot of text!  Uh-oh… What if she’s done more than you have?  What if she’s better spoken?  What if they like her better? 

 *BEGIN ATTITUDE CHANGE..RIGHT… HERE*

That confidence you left home with went right back there.  If only you looked|spoke|seemed|were BETTER.  What made you think that you could do this?  What made you think that someone would see you as the ideal candidate for this position? 

*STRIKE Ode to The Nerves & The Butterflies*

You think.  You’re going to be.  Sick.

Naturally, that eclipse of self confidence doesn’t only happen at job interviews.  How about a dinner party or a family reunion?  Choose whatever scene that you suffered through the growing shadows of shrinking self esteem and read on. 

Strong Core = Strong You

Your emotional foundation is vital to you.  Your approach to situations comes from your sense of self, or lack thereof.  Does your confidence in yourself depend on who else is in the room?  Does how you feel about yourself slip at the sight of an image you instantly compare yourself to? Allowing external factors to dictate how you feel about yourself on a day to day basis guarantees that you’re on a roller coaster ride - one that is ruthless in rushing you through your highs and lows.  So to make this ride a smoother, more pleasant one, work on you.

If you’re familiar with the blogosphere, you might have come across the phrase “Paralysis by Analysis”.  Basically, what that means is, you scrutinize and compare yourself to the competition so much that you are “paralyzed” and unable to forge on with your own ideas. 

To conquer that kind of thinking, you need to take a look at what you value and what order those things are in.  Another person’s possible perception of you does not equal who you are as a person.  Since that person’s perception is not the definition of who you are, your opinion of yourself is the value that must take precedence. With all the weaknesses you know that you have, you also own strengths unique to you.  Redirect your mode of thinking from “Underscore My Negatives” to “Highlight My Positives”. 

How to Build Up Your Self Confidence

 There is a very real weight that is carried through your speech and thought.  If negativity is the mode of your mindset, negativity will be the mode of your life.  With that gem in mind (I wouldn’t steer you wrong) increase your self confidence by:

1. Acknowledging those fears of yours.
2. Praise yourself for your strengths. 
3. Don’t minimize your pros by spotlighting your cons.
4. Wear the armor of success.  A successful person stands proud, speaks to be heard, maintains eye contact (In an “I’m interested” way, not an “I’m here to scare you” way). 
5. Make no apologies for existing.  If you’re under-qualified for a situation, step aside your embarrassment for a moment and take a look what you’ve gained - an experience on the level that you would like to be in and a real heads up on what you need for next time.

Indulge in the moments that you do feel good about yourself.  You need them as a reference when you’re not feeling so great.  You need them to remind you that the skin you’re in is where you belong. 

Make a conscious decision to take residence in this life of yours and utilize opportunities to build the life that you want by learning to be comfortable with the person that you are today.  Know that you have something to contribute to your relationships, your work, your friendships, and your family.  Know that preparing yourself for what you intend to conquer is a sure fire way to contribute to your self confidence.

AND

Be mindful of “Paralysis by Analysis”.  There’s always someone else to look at at.  You’ll get a crick in your neck and a cramp in your style if you spend your days watching someone else for a revelation on how much you count in this world…today.

You define you. 

Love the skin you’re in.  No one can wear it better than you can.

Photo By: Simon Pais-Thomas

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