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It’s Memorial Day and I can’t help but bask in memories of my late hubby. Since losing my soldier, I’ve been faced with the rock bottom part of life. You know - the part you have no voluntary interest in seeing. Ever. It’s a year and a half later and to my pleasant surprise, I have experienced not only growth but actually happiness. If you told me that a year ago, I would grant you a blank stare and perhaps a look of pity at your eager hopefulness.
I am living proof to each and every one of these tips as I have experienced the life altering effects of each and every one of them. Perhaps you are in a situation that has brought YOU much sadness, anxiety, depression. Or maybe you’re stuck in the doldrums of life - not really grasping whats so great about it. I believe in living your best life now. So come on - I have to share the goods with you!
Eating Clean
I learned this term in Oxygen Magazine - a leading fitness magazine for women who really workout - and it was coined by Tosca Reno. It’s the cycling of good old advice but in layman’s terms and bright, colorful, motivating pictures and that’s good enough for me. Eating Clean basically means eating foods in their natural form - all the way down to the oranges of your orange juice. The corn syrup, trans-fats, and all that jazz are not only unnecessary, they are energy zapping, blood sugar spiking, spare tire inducing culprits that are found in highly processed food. Now before I continue, please understand that I am a college student on her own who had absolutely no interest in cooking grand dinners every night. I was shocked at the ease and the benefits of Eating Clean. Me - a woman who has to fight many physical and emotional complications of losing the love of her life - am feeling a lot better because of this.
It’s incredible for losing extra fat or building muscle - whatever floats your boat. So typical rules? You stay away from foods that were created in labs. You avoid additives, simple carbs (all the white floured foods) and you stock up on the natural goodness that come from flavor rich foods. And a little secret? I eat vegetables now. Yes, voluntarily. They can actually be good. This is a revelation to me so bear with me will you?
You do this with some regular exercise and you will end up looking at your new, hot bod rather lovingly on a very regular basis. Not that I do that or anything. *chuckles*
I encourage you to try it out. Even some alterations in your daily diet will provide you with some drastic improvements. Remember - a great body is 80% nutrition, 10% exercise, and 10% genes. Yes, really.
Spirituality
I was born and raised a Christian. That all went to the pits the day my husband died. I don’t think it should be legal - the rage I had against God. When people would come to me and say “It all happens for a reason” about my 22 year old hubby - well - lets just say thank goodness no one can hear your thoughts.
All that being said, I’ve begun to explore spirituality a few months ago and I am not only startled by its impact, I find myself hungry for me. Me - again - the same one who would consider punching you in the face if you mentioned anything about faith to me.
Now I am well aware that there are many different practices out there and am not looking to spark a grand debate. Rather, I have to say whether you are religious, spiritual without denomination, whatever it is you do - having something to believe in…having hope for balance and personal peace is by far the greatest gift known to man.
I read an incredible blog about spirituality written by Tom Stine of TomStine.com. He also has many insightful readers. Laugh if you will but it was actually The Secret that got me thinking about life outside of depression again. That led me to many books, audio cds, blogs and eventually back to my roots.. curious about a very different aspect. Less about the politics of religion and more about the connection.
Life saving stuff I must say. I am still a novice but I think that’s a great thing. It’s exciting to lessen strong anxiety with beautiful feelings. It’s exciting to discover hope. Regardless of what your hardship is, it’s exciting to really feel there is more to life than the nonsense you have been dealt. Boy does that feel good.
Quality Relationships
Ok. There is knowing people for the sake of acquaintances and there is KNOWING people.. the ones closest to you. Quality relationships are life savers because when you get past underestimating a loved one’s ability to understand where you stand, you find yourself leaning into love that is healing. Its about actual acceptance of you as is - and vice verse. Have you ever experienced that? Have you ever given a loved one a real chance? Its amazing how long you can go through life cutting people off from the real you. Of course you have your need for privacy and reserve. However, when you are going mad because you are going through something and you can’t share it, you are missing out on the healing effects of a quality friendship .. a quality love.
How about when great things happen? A quality relationship of any sort is with someone who can be genuinely happen for your good fortune without seeking ways to minimize the great thing that just happened. Sometime we stick to people like this because we are used to such undercutting remarks. People like to stick to what they know. So how about you get to know a positive sense of a relationship where the appreciation for you doesn’t stop when you rise from your current position?
The quality relationship continually feeds itself positive, loving energy. It goes both ways. It is supportive, it is appreciative, it is very much alive. Who do you have that with? Don’t forget to Love Them Out Loud.
Me Time
It doesn’t matter if you are Super Woman with energy drinks flowing through her veins instead of blood. Life will continue to happen with or without you. Your circumstances may be tough - whether you solicited it or not - but you need that Me Time. Me Time is the time you relax and enjoy your own company. It’s the time you dive into a blissful self reflection and the world is literally on time out.
Your Me Time is guaranteed to make you more productive than nixxing it ever could. It doesn’t matter how in love you are, how crazy your boss is, how much of a social butterfly you are, or whatever other circumstance you can conjur up. Learn to enjoy your own company. Learn to fall deeply in love with yourself. You radiate a confidence and energy when you get to know yourself. Your neediness (I won’t tell) lessens and the love you give your partner comes from a pure place as opposed to the Land of Save Me From Myself.
A lot of people tell me “You go to the movies alone? SERIOUSLY?! I could never do that”. Little do they know, I have a grand old time. Yes, I will laugh out loud. I will smile at strangers. I will take myself to dinner dolled up if I want to. This is all about learning about How to Be Alone Without Being Lonely (a future post coming soon so subscribe and watch out for it!)
You become a better person, parent, spouse, student, boss, employee - anything - for it. Its true.
Selfless Giving
I was delighted to read this post from Leo of Zen Habits particularly because I strongly believe in the ongoing effects of improving someone’s day by giving a bit of yourself. Whether you gift a dollar or a smile, you can have a strong positive impact on someone’s day and I promise you it feels good.
Many people have no idea what they’ve done for me on very dark days that they didn’t know I was surviving particularly because I plaster my (usually genuine) smile on my face. I’ve learned to do that because wearing misery out in public brought its own complications. For instance, two very close friends of mine drove the 1.5 hours it takes to get to my apartment and barged in to clean it from top to bottom. When depressed, microwaving a tv dinner is hard work let alone manage all the space I have in here. I tried to get rid of them, humiliated that they caught me “not having it together”. One of them spoke gently (surprising because this girl makes you laugh with everything she says!) “JEMi, you don’t have to be embarrassed. Please stop. We love you”
I will never forget such tenderness. It reminds me of the times when I would work with the elderly. Sometimes tears would fill their eyes. I would think .. my coffee is THAT good?! Its the company. It’s the smile. It’s what you can do for someone else without expecting anything back. Its another one of the richest feelings in the world and you are truly robbing yourself of great things by not giving a little bit of a happy you to someone out there.
Recording Your Memories
Pictures, journals, blogs, tape recordings… however you can do it - capture memories that you want to reserve. You’ll have wonderful points to look back to and its strange yet pleasant how strong some of those memories are in pulling you into a happier place. Strive to CREATE beautiful memories. Life hands you enough lemons, don’t you agree? Why not reach out for the blessings it has to offer as well?
You may not be “into” writing. That’s why the cameras or digital recorders work just as well. This life is about you! Look back and enjoy. Look forward and enjoy. Live now and enjoy. It’s an easy way to lift yourself up and .. well.. why would you miss out on that?
Life Saving Gratitude
You tend to hear “Be grateful” alot but do you take a moment to try it out? Especially during some bad moments, when you’re too busy finding things to say “I’m grateful for..” you can’t help but begin to feel better despite your best efforts. That mind of yours.. it’s so powerful, one must respect it enough to feed it the good that counters the bad. You can condition yourself to find things to be appreciative of as opposed to the things that prove life sucks. Even if its “I’m grateful I found that other sock today.. that’s really my favorite pair”. Giggle to yourself and let the words roll through. It will reduce your stress, it’ll guide you to living more consciously, it will feed you even MORE reasons to be grateful, it’ll have you looking for more, and you will just feel good.
For instance - for ME? I am grateful for InMyHeels.com and the fantastic readers that come here. The emails I receive, the engaging and insightful comments, and the wonderful people I meet - not to mention the opportunities that it brings!
Since I heart you all, I encourage you to live your best life. Live with the real wealth that comes with these suggestions. Once you get into it, you wonder what on earth you were doing before - which is fine because thats just one more thing to be grateful about.
Smile. Life can be good.
For more, life improving reading, check out the awesome JonathanMead.com (the man created my logo and I am eternally grateful. Oh.. he can really write too lol), SuccessSoul.com, ADaringAdventure.com, TheGrowingLife.com, and TheNext45Years.com. These are some truly incredible blogs. I would say that - they are some of my favorites. I suppose this little list counts as tip # 8 then. Consider it a loving bonus. 
To continue receiving Tips for Life, Love, You that provide more ideas on living the good life, subscribe and keep up InMyHeels.com!
Photos by: Stu Willis and mai lirol poni
