Tips for Life, Love, You. | 2008 April archive at InMyHeels.com

Archive for April, 2008

28AprSelf Fulfilling Prophecies: Getting Your Life Back

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“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words’ll never hurt me”.

I don’t agree with that statement. 

If you’re an individual who is pretty efficient and zoning out when people lash out comments meant to break your spirit, you may chant that to your merry heart’s content. 

But what if you have heard things that put you down - over and over again?  As a person in a toxic relationship, or as a child whose family member made it their business to  shred your dreams for breakfast - some lasting damage can really be done.

One may not always think of it that way, however -

If you find yourself doubting your capabilities - and that is your norm;
If you find yourself constantly gravitating to people who continue to chip at your self esteem;
If its your norm to dodge opportunities because negative opinions echo in your mind;

That’s all negative programming and you are functioning with those opinions as your guideline.

Often times you might hear someone say “Be Positive!”

What does that mean when you’ve been programmed with the negative untruths of your past?  All you might hear when told “be positive” is “smile and nod ’til this well-meaning person goes away”.  All you might feel when told “You are so beautiful; you are awesome;  you’re so TALENTED!” is *the sound of crickets*

The worst part is - you don’t WANT to disagree.  Really, you don’t.

Not only is it unfair, its unnecessary.  But what has been done, is done.  The key is - HOW do you change your mindset?

After thinking a certain way for so long - how on earth do you initiate the kind of change that gives you a real handle on the direction your life is going?

Continue reading ‘Self Fulfilling Prophecies: Getting Your Life Back’

18AprAn InMyHeels Note: Thank You Kelly of She-Power.com!

I just have to (very publicly) thank Kelly of the fabulous She-Power.com for featuring ME as her first feature for her new series She-Power Women.

The She-Power Women Series is an interview series which spotlights ordinary women living their lives in extraordinary yet simple ways.

It’s a great honor to have been picked for this feature and I’ll admit to the big grin I couldn’t wipe off.  I have such a strong interest in the positive light upon women and our strive for wellness, happiness, and self-love. 

Kelly, your kind words humble me.  My deepest appreciation goes out to you - THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

-JEMi

17AprWhat the Super Successful You Knows

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How long have you been this uncomfortable? 

With certain aspects of your life that is. 

Are you constantly poring over someone else’s get things done system - only to find the only thing you’re doing is frustrating yourself yet again?  It doesn’t even make any sense.  It works for some people - why not you?

How about your job?  Are you supposed to like it because you spent a good lot of your time for the past __ years learning for a shot at your dream only to find that it just isn’t flowing as well as you pictured?

Is it you?

Quite frankly yes. 

It’s you…not being you.  And that can be a problem.

For those on a serious quest for the inspired career move, having issues with learning, not understanding the relationship advice you’re getting (and therefore you MUST be an ogre) ignoring your natural tendencies will leave you feeling awkward.  You can technically force yourself to operate under someone else system but that’s the underlying discomfort you feel…

..and it’s probably feeding that growing monster of resentment that you’re carrying on your bare back.

You’d be amazed at what knowing and respecting your own personal style of operation can do for you.  You’d be super productive and a lot happier with your circumstances. 

And to think that people go on, for YEARS, oblivious to this fact and suffering a faceless unhappiness because of it!  Looks like there’s more to that “Be Yourself” thing huh. 

This is the part where I tell you that you can shell out fifty bucks or so over here at Kolbe.com to find out about yourself for your best life.

OR

You can thank your bloggy stars that JEMi knows JUST how you feel and is about to discuss the general guideline that test shows you.

*smile*

Continue reading ‘What the Super Successful You Knows’

10AprHalf-Assed: Becoming Half Your Size

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When you see 194 lbs - what do you think?  Fit person?  Fat person?  Doesn’t matter.   194 lbs is an entire person. 

Imagine losing that extra person in weight after years of being obese.  It’s been part of your identity and has defined a good portion of life as you know it.  And now, that extra person is gone.

People would want to know, how did you do it?  How did you rid yourself of that much weight and - hear this - details please!

Well, my dear reader, I’ve got a goody to share.

The good blogging gods have smiled upon me and as fate would have it, I won a pre-released copy of Jennette Fulda’s book *Half-Assed: A Weight-Loss Memoir  For those of you who don’t know of Jennette (yet - because lucky you, I’m telling you about her now) she has lost 194 lbs thus far.  Continue reading ‘Half-Assed: Becoming Half Your Size’

03AprSurvival of a Broken Heart: A How-To Guide

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The inescapable truth of break ups and divorces is the broken heart they can leave behind and the effect it has on the life you’re trying to live. Ever tried to focus on a spreadsheet when someone you love just walked out on you? Perhaps you’re the exact opposite - you can’t step outside of your work because what’s waiting for you is a shattered mess called your life and it isn’t exactly going to clean itself up.

The magnitude of heart break is inexplicable when you are the one experiencing it. Often times, as the resilient beings that we are, we adapt - somehow - to the changes they bring. The adaptation may be clunky and awkward sometimes but we do the best we can the best way we know how.

I want to bring you a bit of the know how.

Will it bring your better days with that person back? Not likely.

But here are some of the intentions of this piece and hopefully the suggestions provided prove to be useful to you:

- That “Why” question

- A better handle on every day life when sudden depression hits

- How to live without him

- Feelings of abandonment and what to do with them

- The difference between trying again and a never ending cycle

- Will you ever love again?

- What to do while you do your emotional work

I’ll make the rash assumption that this parting was ugly in my attempt to address some of the extreme feelings (and their derivatives) and what to do with them.

Continue reading ‘Survival of a Broken Heart: A How-To Guide’


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